On Politicians Doing What They Do Best…

It has lately become all too apparent that politicians have only one useful skill – getting re-elected. Once they have clawed their way out of local obscurity and grasped onto the golden crown of incumbency, beating off the flies from the dead they abandoned in their wake, the ability to reason is quickly shoved into their pocket so that they can use any and all tools available to them in their quest for re-affirmation – and both past promises and personal conscience are the first casualties on the journey.

Today, we are blessed with the mask not just slipping from their faces, but it quickly being trampled and spit on by those involved, while they simultaneously pretend the mask never existed in the first place.

Arlen Specter, previously a so called Republican Senator from Pennsylvania, has switched from Elephant to Donkey in name, although he has always been an Elephantine Ass in form and spirit. This, unsurprisingly, was preceded by the news that his primary opponent for 2010, Pat Toomey, was dancing on his political career’s corpse, playing with skulls and claiming to own the grave site. ‘Where be his quiddities now?’

In reaction to the news that his career held only a spoonful of life, our honest Senator did the only sensible thing he could do – switched sides. Being far too important of a man to face his current constituents disappointment with his utter failure to listen to their pleas, and being entirely unqualified to live an honest mans life, he instead crossed the aisle into the land of infamy, all the while bleeding lies from his mouth.

‘In the course of the last several months … I have traveled the state and surveyed the sentiments of the Republican Party in Pennsylvania and public opinion polls, observed other public opinion polls and have found that the prospects for winning a Republican primary are bleak.’

Ah. Yes. So instead of returning to the work force you helped destroy, and joining the job market you pushed into the abyss, you instead have decided to sell out the men and women who elected you to do a job that you refused to perform, and vote against the very principles that you were sent to the Capital to defend.

For this is not about the Republican Party moving one way or the other – they have not changed their platform in any significant manner since you took to the spotlight thirty years ago. You were elected with the aid of Republican money, Republican time, Republican name-dropping – yet when have you ever returned the favor by voting on Republican principles?

No, Mr. Specter, the Republican party did not move to the right. In fact, you never moved to the middle, either. Instead, for the last thirty years you have bought and bamboozled your way to victory, and your underhanded dealings have finally come to bite you in your newly-minted Ass. The people who had voted for you have finally seen your scam, and want none of it.

Sadly, I have no doubt that, should the opportunity present itself, nearly every individual in those two houses of depravity would follow suit, and shed their skins, emerging a ‘more moderate’ snake, twice as venomous and half as honest.

It is sad, but I truly never expected such wanton pissing on the voters. But, as Ben Jonson said:

No, Silius, we are no good inginers.
We want their fine arts, and their thriving use
Should make us graced, or favour’d of the times:
We have no shift of faces, no cleft tongues,
No soft and glutinous bodies, that can stick,
Like snails on painted walls; or, on our breasts,
Creep up, to fall from that proud height, to which
We did by slavery, not by service climb.
We are no guilty men, and then no great;
We have no place in court, office In state,
That we can say, we owe unto our crimes:
We burn with no black secrets, which can make
Us dear to the pale authors; or live fear’d
Of their still waking jealousies, to raise
Ourselves a fortune, by subverting theirs.
We stand not in the lines, that do advance
To that so courted point.

  1. April 28th, 2009

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